Sometimes, hurting people get stuck in self-pity. When this happens, it seems that no matter what you say or ask them to do, it falls on deaf ears. Have any of you been there? It is frustrating and can also make you feel defeated as their mentor.

To help them get away from ‘stinking thinking’ and begin the process of renewing their mind, send them this link: http://www.ficm.org/index.php?command=whoamiinchrist and tell them to pick out three positive affirmations from this list and begin saying each one OUT LOUD three times, three times per day. Our brain is a muscle and it needs to be exercised, so why not exercise it well by filling it with positive thoughts and what better way to do that then through scripture.

Walk Along Side…
“I feel a lot of love through that message – it’s what I have needed to hear for so long, so thank you so much”

Blessings!
Terri ♥

Online Mentoring Terms of Service

The Mentor Center Program exists to minister, equip and resource thousands of people around the globe.  It is our desire to protect you, the mentor, our visitors and the organizations you are representing.   

With this in mind, these are the guidelines we ask you to follow: 

1) Safety Issues
(a) Never give medical advice.  Instead ask people to take their medical concerns to a qualified physician.

(b) Never give advice about legal obligations. Instead ask people to consult a qualified legal adviser.

(c) Never give away personal information such as your telephone number, address, city location, personal email address, facebook or any other social media that you use.

Use your first name only.  Your safety is of paramount importance.

Never disclose your mentee’s name, personal information or circumstances outside of TMC. It’s vital that everything said in TMC, stays in TMC at all times.

(d) Never tell someone what to do.  Instead encourage, pray for and refer accordingly. You may suggest something saying “this has worked for others”.  Keep the onus on them.   It is their decision whether or not to act.

(e) Never suggest that trusting in God will solve all their problems.   Instead let them know that God will give them grace and hope in their situation.

2) Contacting The Mentor Center Administrator:

If you come across any of the situations listed below, always contact the Administrator immediately, using the following email address for your report urgent@truthmedia.com

Please do not respond to the visitor and leave the email in your TMC inbox until you have heard from the Administrator.

(a)    There is a strong belief that the person may be considering violence or harming self or others;

(b) There is a strong belief that there may be an abusive relationship, especially when there is indication that the person may be less than 18 years old;

(c) There is a strong belief that there is an impending decision regarding an abortion;

(d) You receive information that someone is harassing a mentor or demanding a personal meeting

If you are unsure if a particular email falls into one of these groups, contact the Administrator.

3) Contacting Public Authorities

The Mentor Center is committed to being a safe place. Please do not take matters into your own hands, but use the urgent email address above instead.  The Administrator of The Mentor Center will contact public authorities should it be necessary or appropriate to do so as determined by The Mentor Center.

Walk Along Side…
“Just want to share that this person once again called on God. He felt abandoned by God because of separation and divorce. Here is a quote from his email “…I have asked GOD to take this pain from my heart and to help me move forward.”

Have a great week!
Terri ♥

There are 3 things that are most important in a first response:  SHORT, personal, compassionate.  There will be time enough to write more when they write back…and they write back more often when we can clearly establish a rapport with them at a heart level.

I wonder…if someone just came up to you and started talking to you about the things in their email, not knowing who you were, how would you react? If you began to talk to them using words you normally use in church and saw that they didn’t quite “get it”, would you change your words?  Sometimes we get in the habit of expressing things certain ways, and when we’re talking to pre-believing friends, we have to remember that it’s not in their vocabulary, or in their thinking. We are listened to more, when we are being a peer that’s sharing struggles and how I’ve gone through them, rather than someone who has the answer.

In responding to hurt, we use compassionate facial expressions and tones of voice.  Because we don’t have that in TMC, we have to be specific with our words, so that our compassion and empathy are clear.  Even if we can’t empathize with their specific situation you can imagine that they might be feeling, afraid, tired, and discouraged, because you’d feel that way, if you were in it.  And, if someone was showing a bit of their heart, I’m sure you wouldn’t be only giving them a “recipe” for a solution to their problem. What we communicate needs to be done in such a way that it’s clear that whether or not a solution worked for us, they will make their own choice.  (“This worked for me.  Have you thought of trying that?”)

How can we communicate it in a way that will be more personal, rather than more academic?  Do we have any examples from life, or from friends’ or relatives’ lives, that we can use to empathize with them? (“That sounds really frustrating and difficult.  I’m so sorry to hear that. My friend’s daughter went through something similar and I saw how hard it was on her.”)

If they don’t say anything about their faith, I don’t write to them as if they are believers.  Instead I ask the Lord, “What are YOU telling me to say?”  Has what they wrote tell you anything about their faith? You can begin putting faith into your conversation by saying something like, “It wasn’t easy, but my daughter’s friend decided to begin talking to God about it and He helped her to try some things.  Do you believe in God?”

How does my closing invite them to write me back again?  (“I care about you and look forward to hearing from you again….”)

Walking alongside works because it’s love first and information laid on the foundation of that love.  It’s our love that opens them up and helps them trust us.  Half the time, people are lonely and in despair and want a friend, not a solution.

We have a great team of mentors and I know that each one of us wants to have the fullest experience in mentoring. And God will do that as we depend on Him moment by moment
Terri ♥

I believe the Celebrate and Share has added a dynamic dimension to TMC. This window on the left has opened a door for us to see the ministry that is happening inside. And it is amazing to see how God is working!
Note to remember: When adding your comments feel free to use a first name but please do not add any other identifying information, such as last names, addresses, birthdates, work place, or city,  to keep the conversations confidential.  Thank you so much.  ♥

Walk Along Side…
“Thank you for listening and helping me. You are here for us just when we start to believe no person is. Is it important that I pray daily? Also I don’t know where to start reading in the bible. Where do I start? Also how can I become more motivated in walking with the lord?”

Have a wonderful week
Terri

I need to clarify one of the boxes on the Celebrate and Share feature. It’s the very last box in the list.  This is the place where you can share encouraging comments as they happen in the same conversation thread.

The First time you add a comment

• Check the box on the left of  “This conversation has a story that others need to hear”
• Type your comments in the box on the right.

The Second time you want to add a comment

• Delete the old comments on the right
• Type in your new comments

 Walk Along Side…
“This wonderful woman had a powerful response to the Lord, as she was expecting to hear a psychological response to her request for help, and she was shocked to be presented with the Gospel as her Solution. She realized she had gone astray in leaving her relationship with the Lord and rededicated her life to Him, and now her husband has as well!”

Thank you♥ SO much for all that you do!
Terri